I was totally inspired by Emma’s video this morning. I have been meaning to put together something of Erin’s time in spica, however I had struggled to do it in YouTube until Emma pointed me in the right direction this morning telling me she did hers on iMovie. Therefore I downloaded the app for the iPad and had a play. It needs fine tuning I couldn’t work out how to fade the music at the end and I think I may go back and change the music as this is just one of the standard ones when there are some tracks I would have liked to use.

However here goes my first attempt at creating a video! I think you *could* expect more of these now I have the app! Oh and if you know how to fade out at the end let me know!

Erin went into hospital in Oct 2011 and was out of spica in June 2012

My little girl was called inspirational today and it made me well up. Some days I still have to fight those damned hot tears when we talk about DDH and today is one of those days. Not only has another blogger friend spent the day in A&E due to a late diagnosis of DDH but tomorrow we too will be back looking for a car space in that hospital we know way to well.

I know her hip is in and it’s not structural as we had xrays, ultrasound and blood tests only a couple of weeks ago.  However something is causing the pain and the limping and no two year old should experience pain on a daily or weekly basis.

One thing that I can’t get out of my head is that it will be one year tomorrow since I first met Mr Majkowski our consultant.  One year ago tomorrow he delivered a bombshell about how long her treatment would take. Erin had been diagnosed three weeks prior to this appointment but it was our first time discussing her treatment with the surgeon that I would place my faith, hope and tears in.  I can’t believe that tomorrows appointment is falling on the same day and what’s more it is the same time as that appointment too. Can this bode well?

It is such a feeling of deya vu. The knot of anxiety has been building all day. I know that tomorrow couldn’t bring more shocking news than that appointment bought. I want to get this appointment out of the way but I’d rather it was on any other day!

Children with disabilities really are inspirational and it was so important to be reminded of that this morning.

These past few days our dreams have been realised. As I picked Dylan up from school in the pouring rain my beautiful little girl kicked and splashed in puddles. As many of the other mums were rushing past dragging there dipping wet children along with them. I took my time and basked in the puddles. I watched as Erin squeeled with delight, soaked her socks and trousers. As she called out to everyone that passed she was standing. I had the stupidest grin on my face. The following day Erin took her first steps (for the third time), it was much quicker than I had expected. However I guess when you have already learnt to walk twice, even though your hip wasn’t in a socket, walking on a fixed hip is easier.

On Sunday as we were in church Erin did the collection and as she walked up the aisle I totally lost it. The tears wouldn’t stop and the emotion of the past year was set free. As I looked around, I realised I was not the only emotional person watching Erin. More eyes were focussed on her than where they should and many were wiping tears.  Erin still limps and for how long remains an unknown, but, each day she is walking is better than being in spica.

I am so proud of my little girl and all she has been through this year and hopefully we will have good news in 6 weeks at her next xray.

Monday morning came around and before I knew it we were walking the corridor once more. The same corridor we have walked down four times previously. This time I was saying goodbye to Erin for a few more hours. The reality hit home as we entered theatre and Erin screamed and told her anaesthetist that she would not be going sleep. She clamped her chubby little hand over her mouth to resist the gas that would put her to sleep once more. She knew what was coming and it broke my already splintered heart yet again.

Three long hours later I took my little girl from the nurse in recovery, yet again she was bound in purple from tummy to toes. The resignation in her eyes was nearly more than I could bear. She has already been through so much, more than a two year old should have been.

This time the pain of a salters osteotomy is clear to see and hear. Erin is in pain, her eyes show this, as she fixes in the distance.

Day one passes in a fitful doze for Erin. Life isn’t so peaceful for mummy who is now sharing a ward. I have no bed, just a reclining chair which launches me across the ward every time I move. I have no blanket.

Day two began positively, Erin’s pain was under control and I was hopeful that we would be making a quick escape and be home sooner than planned. However it began to change. Erin’s temperature spiked and It became clear that something was changing.

Day two night time. A bad fitful night, temperature and body spasms took hold of my little girl. It was upsetting to see and I felt quite helpless.

Day three, with a very high temperature I could see our early get away slipping through my fingers. Then the vomiting started resulting in me swearing a bit too loudly for a childrens ward. As a spica mum we are quite paranoid and competitive about keeping our casts clean. I had visions of leaving with mine stinking on day three! Pead doctors were called but long before they arrived I diagnosed the problem myself. Erin’s ear has perforated for the 3rd time in nine weeks. This is the likely cause of infection and the reason for the temperatures.

So here we are for our third night, Erin in bed and me on a chair, wineless! Living the high life with my girl.