This time last year we were trying to get to grips with life in spica.  Erin had just under gone her closed reduction and the next six months seemed to be stretching out in front of us like a never ending circle.

However one year on and the sun is shining brighter.  We thought a great way to celebrate rather than procrastinate on the day was to get away from here and have a fun couple of days out with a family.

We headed to Torquay one of our favourite places and the weather was great to us.  After arriving Erin wanted to go on a boat – a trip across the water to Brixham was organised.  Except……. we kind of forgot that it is almost November.  Five minutes across and both my boys were looking peaky and had gone very quiet.  Erin on the otherhand was squealing with delight and loving crashing over the waves.

Dyl decided that he wasn’t going to be a sailor and filled a carrier bag full of his dinner.  After disembarking we quickly realised that the return trip was not an option.  Therefore Erin enjoyed a trip back to Torquay on a double decker bus instead!!!

After a hearty breakfast the following morning we headed to Paignton Zoo for a family day.  Every animal that was bigger than Erin started with the same conversation  that’s an *elephant* will it eat me?

We had so much fun and it was a great way to celebrate how far we have come in a year.  We expected treatment to take a year and it has and I know that we are still not at the end of the DDH road.  Erin still can’t jump or run, she walks with a wide gait and a limp which is the legacy we still face. 

However her surgeon has given her a new hip socket.  It gave her the opportunity to run around Paignton Zoo with her siblings.  One year on and she is smiling.  One year on and we are smiling.

Tonight, back home was the icing on the cake as she walked down the stairs for the first time.  She used both hands to steady herself with the bannister but she actually walked without adult hands taking her weight, without adult hands supporting those weakened muscles.

She did it for herself.

DDH one year on……

Last Friday we spent the day in hospital as DDH still haunts our lives. Erin has been doing so well, her walking was really fluid and the limp was not noticeable. It all changed last week when Erin started complaining of knee pain, after an emergency doctors appointment we were sent to the children’s ward where they could see the pain she was in. I know the limp can remain for up to a year post Salters, but what concerns me is that the limp had gone and now it is back.

The staff were fabulous with Erin as usual. She had bloods done (a task in itself with her chubby hands and non existance veins), x rays and finally an ultrasound that all came back fine. We didn’t see her consultant as he was in theatre but an SHO was following his orders. After hanging around for hours one of the lovely nurses even managed to rustle up fish and chips for Erin as she was hungry! We finally left some 6 hours after arriving. I left feeling reassured but also reminded that DDH doesn’t just disappear.

One week on I now feel at a loss – I hope beyond hope that it is ‘just’ muscular. Thankfully she doesn’t seem in pain anymore, but more and more people are noticing the limp. It is becoming quite pronounced and I just have that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Today we got a letter as her surgeon wants to see her. I am frightened by what this means. I hope he is just wanting to reassure me, to tell me to calm down, give it time. Tell me to enjoy her new found freedom and not dwell on the past. But my over active imagination is already wondering if he saw something in the Xray that isn’t so good. Did the SHO miss something? I have rung the hospital today but can’t get hold of the secretary I need. I am desperate to know whether the consultant saw the xrays last Friday as he was in theatre or if he has looked at them since and wants to see Erin because something is not right. More waiting and still the irony remains that this is mimicking the same chasing and appointments we were doing this time last year. Erin was diagnosed on September 16th and Erin first went into Spica in the October ironically the same day as this appointment is scheduled for. 

My gorgeous girl loves life and lives it well at the moment.  Although I don’t compare Erin to her peers in a ‘is she behind’ way it is still hard to see watch how much DDH holds her back.  I long to see her running, jumping and keeping up with her friends, not dropping to her knees to get in and out of door ways or holding on two walls when she is walking.

Here is where we are at right now

I find it so frustrating that there is so little advice and knowledge out there about DDH especially the post cast time. I know lots about spica care and the various operations but there is very little available about what to expect after treatment.

These past few days our dreams have been realised. As I picked Dylan up from school in the pouring rain my beautiful little girl kicked and splashed in puddles. As many of the other mums were rushing past dragging there dipping wet children along with them. I took my time and basked in the puddles. I watched as Erin squeeled with delight, soaked her socks and trousers. As she called out to everyone that passed she was standing. I had the stupidest grin on my face. The following day Erin took her first steps (for the third time), it was much quicker than I had expected. However I guess when you have already learnt to walk twice, even though your hip wasn’t in a socket, walking on a fixed hip is easier.

On Sunday as we were in church Erin did the collection and as she walked up the aisle I totally lost it. The tears wouldn’t stop and the emotion of the past year was set free. As I looked around, I realised I was not the only emotional person watching Erin. More eyes were focussed on her than where they should and many were wiping tears.  Erin still limps and for how long remains an unknown, but, each day she is walking is better than being in spica.

I am so proud of my little girl and all she has been through this year and hopefully we will have good news in 6 weeks at her next xray.

Monday morning came around and before I knew it we were walking the corridor once more. The same corridor we have walked down four times previously. This time I was saying goodbye to Erin for a few more hours. The reality hit home as we entered theatre and Erin screamed and told her anaesthetist that she would not be going sleep. She clamped her chubby little hand over her mouth to resist the gas that would put her to sleep once more. She knew what was coming and it broke my already splintered heart yet again.

Three long hours later I took my little girl from the nurse in recovery, yet again she was bound in purple from tummy to toes. The resignation in her eyes was nearly more than I could bear. She has already been through so much, more than a two year old should have been.

This time the pain of a salters osteotomy is clear to see and hear. Erin is in pain, her eyes show this, as she fixes in the distance.

Day one passes in a fitful doze for Erin. Life isn’t so peaceful for mummy who is now sharing a ward. I have no bed, just a reclining chair which launches me across the ward every time I move. I have no blanket.

Day two began positively, Erin’s pain was under control and I was hopeful that we would be making a quick escape and be home sooner than planned. However it began to change. Erin’s temperature spiked and It became clear that something was changing.

Day two night time. A bad fitful night, temperature and body spasms took hold of my little girl. It was upsetting to see and I felt quite helpless.

Day three, with a very high temperature I could see our early get away slipping through my fingers. Then the vomiting started resulting in me swearing a bit too loudly for a childrens ward. As a spica mum we are quite paranoid and competitive about keeping our casts clean. I had visions of leaving with mine stinking on day three! Pead doctors were called but long before they arrived I diagnosed the problem myself. Erin’s ear has perforated for the 3rd time in nine weeks. This is the likely cause of infection and the reason for the temperatures.

So here we are for our third night, Erin in bed and me on a chair, wineless! Living the high life with my girl.