It is almost a year. This time last year I knew Erin was limping, I knew something was wrong. I knew her legs were different lengths, we were being passed from pillar post. We have been through so much this past year and whilst she has coped amazingly it is not something we ever wish to repeat.
I had every belief that all was fine, the consultant has said he’ll give her a years growth before more xrays. However at the same time he said that DDH doesn’t go away over night.
This morning she woke earlier than usuall. She complained of pain. I packed her off to nursery with a cross and a prayer – it usually works! I picked her up and she said she needed a doctor, her knee hurt. I watched as she limped out to the car, still we went to our music class. I watched her like a hawk, she was limping far more than she has for the past few weeks. I could literally taste the bile in my mouth with what I saw. The other mums at school commented that she was limping more today. My trusted childminder watched her and said yes something seemed wrong. She is barely putting her right foot down, she is locking it out straight and not bending her knee, although on the positive side she is still weight bearing. Tonight I couldn’t ignore it. I rang the emergency doctor, explained to an obviously young receptionist what DDH is, mentioned 24 weeks casted, bound from belly button to ankle. My GP stayed late to see Erin. She agreed that Erin was in obvious pain, that she is holding her leg at a bad angle. She did little calm my over active imagination as she called the hospital peads at 6.45pm. They said to dose her up, let her sleep and tomorrow if she is still grimacing from the pain or holding her knee complaining they want to see her on the ward.
Another night of sleepless anxiety for me, her mum who has already allowed her to be put through so much.
Will I ever get over the pain of DDH will I ever be able to forget…… right here, right now it doesn’t seem that I will. I have a knot of fear.
I hope beyond all prayers that it is muscular, that Erin is living life so well that she has just over done it. That being at nursery, making friends and playing like a normal nearly three year old has just taken its toll on her still slightly wobbly wonky infrastructure. I can but hope.
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