If your parent starts to reach the point where they can’t live independently, you might think about inviting them to live with you. After all, you have a spare room, and the kids would love to have grandma down the hall right? Careful though because we often get caught up in the positives that we miss out the problems altogether.
Honestly, it’s easy to think of the benefits and good things about bringing a parent into your home. Hey, they looked after you, and now you’re looking after them. That’s the circle of life, it’s how it goes. Or, perhaps you just want the chance to spend more time with your parent in their twilight years. Maybe, you have retired anyway, so you don’t have any work commitments that need to be handled. It all sounds rather wonderful, but that’s not what things are like at all.
You’re Not A Daughter Or Son, You’re A Carer
Unfortunately, if your parent has reached the point where they are unable to live independently, then they are not going to be in a position where you can just spend time with them and enjoy yourself. You’ll have to take on the role of a carer. You might need to keep them out of danger, feed them, prepare their meals and help them to the toilet or clean them in the bath. These aren’t particularly pleasant thoughts, are they? But it’s the reality of looking after an elderly individual who has lost their independence.
Aren’t You Just Being Lazy?
You might say, it’s great having an elderly parent live with you because you can see them all the time. Hang on though because there are Porthaven Care Homes and other similar elderly residential places that are probably no more than a few miles down the road. So, what you might actually mean is that you don’t want the pressure of having to visit them somewhere else. That’s a bad way to think because you’ll typically find that these care homes are better equipped and will provide a more luxurious living area for your elderly parent.
It’s Going To Get Worse
Perhaps you’re sure that in their current state you can handle the pressures of looking after your elderly parent. Okay, but remember things do gradually get worse as you age. Conditions like dementia don’t improve once you hit eighty and mobility can certainly become more of an issue. You might be able to handle it now but eventually, it will be too much for you, and then you’ll be in the same position anyway. We know it’s not particularly pleasant to think in these terms. But you should. Otherwise, you’ll get caught up in the idea that you will always be able to care for your elderly parent when the truth is you won’t.
We hope you see now that while it might seem like the best option and the most caring decision, ultimately it could be the worse. Your parent might be far better off in a care home, and it will certainly make your life easier.
Disclosure: Contributed post