Who cares for the carers?

I can’t ignore that it is carers week.  Carers are the silent army that props up the NHS with little or no recognition for all they do.  I am privileged in my teaching job to see young carers who are often looking after a poorly parent whilst managing school work and helping siblings.  There are more young carers than you may think.  I honestly think they they deserve far more support and recognition than they get.

I became a carer in a heartbeat last year and it was the most terrifying job that I have ever had.  When Erin was diagnosed with DDH my world changed.  When I sat with her consultant two weeks later and learnt what her treatment needed to involve I collapsed.  Yet in that nano second I became a full time carer.  Now that seems an odd thing to say as I was already a mum of three and caring for them is part of the job description.  As a mum we care – it’s what we do.  But my new carers role involved even more, it meant providing additional physical care whilst Erin was bound by spica for several months.  It meant liaising with surgeons, physio’s and occupational therapists.  It meant getting and filling in forms and getting up in the middle of the night when she had cramps.  It meant bathing her on a kitchen sink, it meant giving up my teaching career for a year.  I was lucky, my school and collegues couldn’t have been more supportive – I was placed on a sabbitical which protected my job but meant we, as a family dropped my salary.   A family of five used to two incomes, suddenly, without any time for extra saving bacame a family of five living off one salary.  As a carer I was paid just over £50 a week.  Yes £50 for 24 hour care, seven days a week.  No days off, no holidays, no sick days for me as Erin still needed that extra care.  She couldn’t go to nursery, we simply could no longer afford it.  I was forced to take the sabbatical as she was having surgery every six weeks.  It wouldn’t have been fair on my students to try and work – it was too disruptive.  Plus my baby needed me.  Not only my ddh baby, but my other children needed me whist they struggled with watching what was happening to their little sister.

Carers save the NHS and welfare state so much money.  Imagine how much it costs to provide that level of care.  Being a carer can be lonely and isolating.  It was difficult to get out with Erin so often we didn’t bother.  Many of my friends were working and therfore Monday to Friday was a long week.  I did enjoy being at home for the other two as I was able to go to their school things and was able to be at home when they walked through the front door.   That was lovely.  You forget that having a sibling going through medical treatment and surgeries is actually very stressful for them too.  They worry and have fears that need to be allayed.

After a year I was able to return to the day job and therefore I count myself as lucky.  For many carers the job lasts years if not decades.  Whilst it is a job bourne out of unconditional love it is a tough job.  So I want to thank carers everywhere and do my own little tribute to you.  I had a glimpse of your life and I know how difficult, rewarding, exhausting, satisfying and really is. 

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