Deciding to make a move abroad is a big step; moving away with children is a whole other ballgame. When you move abroad as a student or single person, you only have to think about yourself, your own wellbeing and your own financial viability. When it comes to moving with kids, though, more and more factors apply, such as sending them to school in the new country, their emotional wellbeing during the move and the expense of the move.
In this blog, you will find four things you should know before making the decision to move abroad with children. It seems like a crazy feat, but a move abroad with young ones can be smoothly achieved with the right planning and knowledge. Let’s get started!
- Your Kids Will Probably Hate The Idea At First
When pitching the idea, or even breaking the confirmed news, to your kids of a move abroad, expect them to reject it. Particularly if the children are high school age, they are very likely to be upset and angry at the idea of leaving their current lives behind. When you are a pre-teen or teenager, your friends, school and life are your entire world. Having little experience of life outside their microcosm, you can expect teenagers to be freaked out at the idea of having to start all over again in a new place.
If your children are younger than ten years old, they might still find the idea daunting, although the actual concept of an abroad move may be lost on them until it happens for real. Even at this age, though, you should expect some pushback, and a lot of questions. So how do you deal with this kind of reaction?
Put simply, you as the parent need to be prepared to deal with the anger and upset that comes with the news. Although you might see it as a fresh start, a new chapter, and an opportunity to start over somewhere new, your kids will be feeling disoriented and challenged by the idea of a totally new place. It is important to put your patience pants on and prepare to do a lot of reasoning, calming, talking and gently pushing your children toward the idea; in all likelihood, they will settle fast and learn to love their new home pretty fast.
- Plan The Move Far In Advance
In order to best prepare your kids for their new lives abroad, you should plan this move far in advance. Sometimes this isn’t an option – if you are moving to take care of a sick relative, perhaps, or a job opportunity that arose last minute – but if possible, this is an essential step to easing your kids into the idea of moving away. Planning in advance gives your children a chance to get their heads around the idea, process and accept the change. Springing a move on your kids is not a very good idea; they are likely to react more explosively and reject the idea more vehemently.
In addition, planning your move far in advance gives you the chance to make the change seem as exciting as you find it, in the eyes of your kids. This might include teaching them about the culture of the new country, introducing them to the benefits, such as living nearer to the beach or warmer weather. You could even plan to visit the country for a vacation before you move, allowing your kids to see the place for themselves and get excited about the prospect of living there. Planning ahead doesn’t mean you won’t have any pushback from the kids, but it does give you, and them, the opportunity to adjust more smoothly to the idea.
- New Schools, New Mom-Guilt
Then, of course, there is the challenge of your kids entering a new school. If you are moving them into an international school, they will remain in English-speaking classrooms, but even then, the change is huge. Making new friends, having a new syllabus, and the dread of being the “new kid” will plague your kids’ heads with worry in the beginning. There is no getting around this; it is part and parcel of moving away when you are too young to immediately adjust to new environments.
Your kids’ anxiety about their new school could have ramifications for your mom-guilt. Moms often feel worried or ashamed about things we shouldn’t, and this seeps out into the way we parent. When completing a move abroad and putting your kids in a new school, do not overcompensate by being too soft on your kids, or pandering to their every need. Of course, sensitivity is vital, but your kids really need you to be a leader right now – so be one. Stay strong, and try not to succumb to mom-guilt. You are making the best decision for your family, so believe in yourself!
- The Move Will Be Expensive
Moving abroad with kids is another level of expense which shouldn’t be underestimated. Finding accommodation, placing them into good schools and exploring your new locale will take a big initial cost. That’s why it is important to find affordable accommodation, such as united point residence, and research schooling costs before you commit to moving abroad. Even if your new job pays well, your at-home budgets will need to be adjusted to the price points of the place to which you are moving.
In order to achieve a smooth move, planning and saving is essential. Budgeting for a move abroad includes considering:
- Flight costs
- Deposits on accommodation
- Transportation and storage of your furniture
- School fees
- New school supplies, including uniforms and stationary
- Exploration, such as day trips, of your new location
- Transport in-country, such as buying a car
Final Thoughts
When moving abroad with your kids, there are times where you will question yourself. Was this the wrong decision? Am I a bad parent? The answer is, simply put, ‘No. You are making the right decision for your family.’ Stick to your principles and use this helpful guide to make the transition as smooth as possible for the whole family.
