Children’s Mental Health Week & Depression in Teenage Girls

It is children’s mental health week and I wanted to share a true story about depression in teenage girls.  There was once a 16-year-old girl and she got sick and sad.  Her sickness was both physical and emotional and it lasted a few years.  The girl had been a sporty teen, she loved being on the hockey pitch and she had friends.  She came from a ‘normal’ home where she was loved and adored. There was no big trauma. Ever. Yet teenage depression does not discriminate. It takes whoever, regardless.

She still got sick

At first, she was always cold and sleepy.  She was tired, no matter how much she rested.  In time, her body began to ache more and more.  Like really hurt.  It stopped her playing hockey and she began to sleep even more.  Some days she wouldn’t get out of bed and go to sixth form.  She didn’t really fit in there either.  It is not where her true friends were. The more she missed at school the harder it was to go in.  Yet she wanted her qualifications.  She dreamt of her future.

Yet she still hurt. Everything was a struggle.  It was like wading through mud. This is my story of sliding into the deepest darkest type of depression. It was a horrible time and I want to use my experience to help other parents and teenagers understand how depression can grip you. Depression in teenage girls is on the increase, partly ue to the pressures of modern society. But for others teenage depression can blight their days with no obvious cause and this is what happened to me.

The teachers didn’t understand. The doctors didn’t understand. They said there was nothing physically wrong. All the blood tests came back normal. Yet the dizziness was real.  The tears that fell were real.  The weakness she felt was debilitating. It was all so real. Depression in teenage girls is real.

Depression in teenage girls the signs to watch for

Eventually, chronic fatigue was diagnosed.  It didn’t help it just made the girl tired. She continued the antidepressants but the magic pills didn’t do their magic.

More and different pills were tried.   She still hurt and the sadness grew.  It kept growing darker and darker. It consumed everything. Depression is like you see, it just keeps coming in waves and it can be relentless. When you look around and see other teenagers living a carefree life it hurts. I thought I was hiding my feelings but they still seeped out of me.

At this time the depressed teenage girl made risky choices which is common place with teens who are depressed. There are a number of common problems teen face. She took recreational drugs and mixed them with alcohol as she attempted to self medicate her moods and exhaustion. Risky behaviour is to be expected when working with teens who are depressed. They will push the boundaries to see what they can do. Skipping school to spend days avoiding confrontation, arguing with people who try to help. This is all part of depression. Spending money on friends in an attempt to feel liked and important.

Months later the girl ended up in a hospital. For weeks or maybe it was months.  That time is a bit of a blur.  She sat her A-Levels by being driven into the school and then taken back to the hospital. She can’t remember sitting those papers. There is no recollection of being in an exam hall.  It has been erased from memory, I guess its a survival tactic for depression in teenage girls. Alongside the exams, being in the hospital kept her safe, she had many different types of therapy from art therapy to talking therapies.

Somehow, somehow she passed those exams.  She had the grades to go to University.  Life seemed a little brighter, this sickness had lasted two years by this point. There was no magic cure, talking therapy helped but it didn’t find out why she had been so sad.  There are theories, it was a knock to the head she had suffered, it was a change of school, it was hormones, it was CFS. Who knows.  She never did really know. Still can’t be sure. Looking back she had hypermobility syndrome symptoms that went undiagnosed, that and POT’s.

In time she got better and she met a good man.  A man she still loves.  She still gets tired and sleeps more than some people. Every time she was pregnant she did worry that the blackness could return. Feared postnatal depression. But it didn’t happen.

She doesn’t talk about that time all those years ago.  But it made her the woman she is.  She wished she could talk more freely, but there is still a stigma.  Still, a fear that it will impact what others think of her.  Still a fear it will somehow stop her from getting work or being taken seriously.  Depression as a teenage girl made her vulnerable and that is still planted somewhere inside. The vulnerability never really totally disappears.

Having depression when you’re a teenager is not easy, it’s not easy at any age I’m sure.  But when you are a teenager and are supposed to be having the time of your life it is hard.  It wasn’t lack of self-esteem or confidence. She had those.  It wasn’t lack of love, she had plenty.  Just sometimes there is no cause, no trauma, no big episode and yet depression in teenage girls is unexplained.

Since back then that girl has worked with teenagers, she always writes positively about teenagers.  She wants to build them up and let them know how important they are.  She understands that the teenage years can be fragile, that things may look fine but inside they are really not. Teenage depression in girls and boys is very real and needs specialist help.

That girl got better, but it made her the way she is and when it comes to children’s mental health week she doesn’t forget how she suffered and how there are still many others suffering.

If you know a teenager struggling with their mental health, don’t ever dismiss it.  Teachers, GP’s, family you all need to listen.  You need to stop and listen.

You can get better from depression.  It might come back but also, it might not. Depression in teenage girls is a ticking time bomb that we need to get better at spotting.

That girl was lucky, it didn’t come back, not to those depths.

This week is child mental health awareness week.  Please be aware and look for signs of depression in teenage girls that you know and love.

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