Many of us love the idea of having kids one day. It’s possible that now may not be the right time. But just how long should you wait to have kids?
While it’s important to be in a good place so that you can raise a child safely and healthily, you do need to be aware of your biological clock. Both women and men become less fertile with age. Leave it too long, and it may become too late to conceive. This is why you need to be careful when choosing how long to delay.
Is now a good time to have kids?
There is no perfect time to have kids. However, it is important that you’re in a somewhat secure and stable situation. Now could be a good time to have kids if:
- You are not battling any severe mental or physical health problems
- You are not trapped in a toxic relationship
- You are able to afford basic day-to-day living
- Your home is a safe environment
- You are not chasing goals that may be shattered by having kids (such as training for a big sports event)
Contrary to what many people, none of the following matter:
- You do not need to be married, or even have a partner
- You do not need to own a house, or even bein living by yourself
- You do not need to be making £30k per year
- In most cases, you do not have to have achieved your dream job
While it was once the norm to find a secure job, buy a home, get married and then have kids, this is no longer possible for most people due to the rising cost of living and greater competition. You therefore shouldn’t feel pressured to achieve what your parents achieved before having kids.
When does conceiving become more difficult?
Men and women are more fertile between their late teens and early 30s. Past the age of 35, the chance of falling pregnant for women greatly decreases. Past the age of 40, this becomes much more drastic, and many women struggle to conceive naturally. Men remain fertile long into old age, but their sperm quality is often greatly reduced by the time they reach their 50s.
Treatments like IVF and IUI can increase the chance of falling pregnant past the age of 35, but eventually even these options may fail to work. Most women need to be ready to make a quick decision by the time they reach their 40s (although it’s worth noting that there is no age limit on adoption).
Are there ways to prolong my fertility?
Procedures like egg freezing and sperm freezing can allow you to preserve healthy eggs and sperm now for fertilisation later. This can allow many women to fall pregnant at a later date if they are not ready now.
Living a healthy lifestyle can also extend your fertility in many cases. Those that develop healthy habits early such as exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet and not smoking are less likely to develop fertility problems as early.
Do you really want kids?
If you feel like having kids is something you should do rather than something you want to do, you should consider whether having kids is really necessary at all. Having kids doesn’t have to be a rite of passage – you can live a rewarding life and leave a legacy without becoming a parent.
If you’re in your 30s and otherwise in a good position to have kids, but keep delaying it, you should consider whether you really want to become a parent, or whether it’s just the pressures of society.
