Nothing prepares you for parenting but what happens when you are supposed to be the expert. I spent three years studying for my degree in social policy, before specialising in behaviour management and then another year doing my PGCE in English and Drama. This led me to work in an inclusion unit with vulnerable teenagers at school delivering emotional wellbeing workshops in addition to supporting their academic learning. In time I became head of department for Sociology and a sixth form tutor. I have a vast amount of academic and practical experience of working with teenagers at school and in a youth setting – but how did this prepare me for motivating my own through their exams and teen years!
As the teen specialist and parenting expert, you’d think I have it nailed and mostly I do. My teens are happy kids, one is at university and one preparing for GCSE’s. Over the years many people have said to me that my kids must be academic and well supported educationally as both my husband and I are qualified teachers. Therefore it might surprise people to know I pay for tutors for my own kids – teaching your own is really really hard as you are emotionally invested. We don’t sit there and check all their homework and I am currently finding it really challenging that my 15 year old is doing everything he can to avoid active revision. We have bought ALL the revision guides, we know how to revise and I can get amazing results from other people teenagers but my own is different.
Since leaving teaching I have popped back to help teenagers at school who were a teacher short, I have tutored other teenagers that needed a boost and I keep up with educational changes to help teenagers in school.
I decided to ask a range of other child experts how their professional qualifications and careers have impacted on their parenting. I wanted to know if the dentist lets their child eat sweets or if the sleep expert lets her child have a dummy. I guess I was looking for some reassurance for myself but also to let all other parents know that even the parenting experts get it wrong sometimes or at least find parenting tough some days. We are after all just doing our best!
Independent Social Worker specialising in fostering assessments.
How old are your children? Son is nearly 8 and I have two stepsons who don’t live with me, aged 10 and 11.
Do you practice what you preach or is it harder with your own kids?
It depends on the day, to be honest! I do employ a lot of skills I have learnt within my work with challenging young people, but I also recognise that my own childhood and experiences can affect the way I parent as we all have triggers that can take logic out of the window.
Did your job prepare you for your children?
Nothing prepares you totally but it has given me an insight into important things developmentally for children.
Do your professional attributes affect how you parent? I can be a bit overprotective and possibly more anxious about the way I parent and the impact it can have. That’s because I’ve worked with children who display emotions and behaviours that are largely due to problems in how they’ve been parented or not parented, and how problems within the attachment with their parents can cause long term damage for them. So I get anxious about doing this myself!
Has there been a time when after something has happened at home you’ve thought damn- my profess me would not do that?
Only using screens or chocolate as bribery!
Read more from singleparentpessimist.co.uk
A Dentist currently on a career break
How old are your children? I have one little girl who is 4.
Do you practice what you preach or is it harder with your own kids? I was a dentist for 20 years before having a child of my own. It is definitely harder with my own child than telling other parents and their children what to do. My job in no way prepared me for dealing with my own child other than knowing how children can manipulate situations and practice ‘delay tactics’. I’m now quite aware that every child is different so each parent may have their own struggles.
So in fact, having children has probably made me less blasé about preaching to parents, as it can be hard brushing your child’s teeth when they really don’t want you to. The current advice is to brush for your child until they are 7. But I now have a healthy respect for parents of multiple children who used to tell me they didn’t know how to get them all to brush.
I do make sure my little girl’s teeth are brushed twice a day, but I never realised how much of a struggle that could be until I had my own child!!
And yes, she does eat sweets, but we limit them to mealtimes. She has never had a fizzy drink, and actually prefers water to most cordials. I try to practice what I preach as much as possible. Read more from a www.arosetintedworld.co.uk
Staff Nurse in surgical outpatients
How old are your children? 2 and 5
Do you practice what you preach or is it harder with your own kids? It’s hard, I tend to be less worried about my kid’s injuries and sit on things for a while whereas with surgical wound patients I always advise to go to GP or get medical help when needed.
Did your job prepare you for your children? Erm, not really, I think on the flip side I couldn’t work with children in my job role as I find it hard to separate the emotional aspect with kids.
Any funny anecdote you have about your job and parenting. My sons have recently got my work stamp and stamped themselves with my name all over them – Freddie’s wouldn’t come off so he went to school with my name stamped all over him read more from https://readyfreddiego.com.
Nurse
How old are your children? 10, 8, 5
Do you practice what you preach or is it harder with your own kids? I’m less tolerant of aches, pains, and cuts because I’ve seen much worse than their cough/ cold/ tummy ache or knee scrape. Don’t get me wrong I do give out sympathy but I’ve always seen worse
Did your job prepare you for your children – nope! Read more from https://midwifeandlife.com
Baby/Children’s Concierge
I had to look this one up – a concierge helps children and parents explore the world and learn together.
How old are your children? Boy aged 7
Do you practice what you preach or is it harder with your own kids?Absolutely not! Minime breaks most of my work-related advice/recommendations, I give daily advice on style and he insists on wearing an “eclectic” mix of clothing and it drives me crazy. I suggest my clients travel on night flights wherever possible, however, we jump on flights at any time of the day- I am blessed because he settles anywhere. It is much harder with your own children because of the emotional attachment.
Did your job prepare you for your children? I was a private nanny/maternity nurse before becoming a baby concierge and have worked with children for 18 years- nothing prepared me for having my own son.
Has there been a time when after something has happened at home you’ve thought damn- my profess me would not do that? I would say it was talking to a client on the phone about the importance of independent sleeping for their child- it was late at night as they were overseas and I remember looking at my son fast asleep next to me in my bed, as he had fallen asleep next to me reading stories and shaking my head in disbelief as I was giving out my top sleep tips. Read more from https://www.minimeandluxury.co.uk
These examples highlight that the experts might have the knowledge and experience in their chosen professions for helping young people but it doesn’t mean our own kids benefit from our training! We are all doing our best though and it proves no-one is perfect all the time!
I hope you enjoyed this post and it has proved so popular that there will be a second in this series which I will publish next week. Read more from teachers and their experiences of parenting.
