There are many parenting styles and one that always invokes curiosity is Montessori Parenting. You might have heard of a Montessori school or nurseries for young children but Montessori Parenting is a whole approach dedicated to developing independence and positive parenting.
Why should a Montessori parent consider implementing Montessori principles at home? Many reasons exist but put simply it is the best way to recognize and develop your child’s inherent ability to learn about the world around them through meaningful play.
The quote “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes is a mantra that supports the Montessori principles because it fits with letting children be independent and exploring their environment.
When it comes to our kids, we all approach parenting differently. There may be some things that you do similar to other parents, family members, and friends, but nobody will parent a child exactly the same as somebody else, and this is a good thing. After all, every child is different, aren’t they? We are all encouraged to follow the lead of our children when it comes to milestones. Children don’t walk at the same age all the time, they don’t always talk at the same time, sit up, roll over, hold a pencil, etc. We are absolutely happy to go with the flow when it comes to our children, and the same can be said for our parenting style.
So as we don’t always parent in the same way, that means there are many different approaches that you can take. Whether you follow a method intricately and with detail or mix a few different styles to create your own, we all try to end up raising kids ready to take on the world in whatever direction they choose. We all get there in the end. One approach you might want to consider with your children is Montessori parenting. But what is it and how can we implement the Montessori philosophy into our daily parenting rituals and routines? With that in mind let’s get those questions answered.
A bit of history about the Montessori approach
The Montessori approach to parenting and other things like homeschooling was originally pioneered by Dr. Maria Montessori in the early 1900s. There is a huge focus around independence, communication, respect, positive discipline, and allowing a child to work at their own pace from a young age. While originally this was an approach created with education and a Montessori classroom in mind, it is easy to see why parents have taken the Montessori way out of the classroom and incorporated it into modern parenting today. For some, it isn’t just about parenting, it goes further into being adapted into a lifestyle the whole family can embrace in everyday life.
So what is Montessori parenting?
Montessori environments are specially prepared for your child to develop and grow to become successful, independent thinkers. At the heart of it, Montessori parenting is all about teaching children independence and life skills in the home environment. It is a great way to fuel an absorbent mind and enriches a child’s life as they develop at their own pace.
“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed” Dr. Montessori
In life, the learning never stops, does it? As adults, we give ourselves the time to learn something new, whether that is in the workplace or a new hobby. Our children are constantly learning, be that in everyday lifestyle situations or the classroom, but often as a parent, we can be in a rush or need to move on to the next thing, and so we can all be guilty of finishing a task for our children in the bid to keep things moving.
With Montessori parenting, children can learn and practice all skills they need to master, in an environment that allows them to try at their own pace until they have mastered it.
The main thing to remember with Montessori parenting is that as a parent you don’t interfere with their desire and enthusiasm to learn something. So if that is a particular subject or learning how to put on their coat, you give them the space and time to succeed in the task in their daily life. Of course, this doesn’t mean that a parent doesn’t teach their child.
Just as the Montessori approach is used in the classroom and the teacher is known as a guide, the parent becomes a guide by leading by example and instilling a sense of self into their child or children.
How you can implement Montessori parenting at home
Becoming a Montessori parent or encouraging this approach at home is easier than you might think and there is always going to be a learning opportunity. For example, would you let your 1-2-year-old put on their shoes, or would you do that for them? How about getting dressed, feeding themselves, and putting on a coat? Maybe you are quick to do things for your 3-year-old, or even still do things for your 4, 5, and 6-year-olds?
Implementing Montessori parenting at home means giving your child the chance to do those things on a regular basis in a safe space. So if they reach for their shoes, allow them to try and do it themselves instead of being quick to do it for them. You can do this in all aspects of a family routine and lifestyle, even if they express things like learning about food and where their meals come from. Take your lead from your child and give them a chance to do things for themselves.
You are probably doing Montessori parenting without realising it too, but once you understand it you may want to adopt more of the approach with more intention. The approach encourages self-sufficiency, perhaps a lot earlier than you might think but anytime you have encouraged your children to have a go, or do something for themselves you are embracing the method.
I discovered that I was naturally parenting using a Montessori education method without realising it. Once I had read more about the approach and how it positively impacted on a child’s life and child development I embraced it further. For example, my kids have always made their own packed lunches for school, and I have also left them to manage their own bedrooms.
I have stored clothes at their level which ensures that they can dress themselves easily. By not doing everything for my kids they have learnt for themselves.
There are a few key steps to follow when it comes to Montessori parenting and implementing this child development approach at home. Here are some of the key principle things to remember in a Montessori program.
Showing your child respect
It is all about showing and having respect for your children and for that to be returned. To do that you must be mindful that your children are their own people with their own personalities. You need to respect their thoughts and feelings as much as you would expect the same level of respect in return. Listening is key here and gives your child the platform they need to thrive.
You can implement this at home by asking for their opinions on things and giving choices. Rather than micromanaging your children give them options on what they might want to do after school.
Talking to your child using a range of vocabulary is another way to show them much respect, rather than talking to them in a cute baby way you can hold a conversation with them like you would any other human being! Doing this from a young age improves their vocabulary and sets them up well for the future. If we talk down to children we are often doing them a disservice.
Another example of showing respect includes not forcing children to show physical affection to others. I remember as a child feeling uncomfortable being told to ‘kiss’ so and so goodbye or give them a hug. Instead, you can say to your child say goodbye to ‘whoever’ and let them decide the best way to do that.
Loosen boundaries
We can often put up boundaries with our children, and this is especially evident when we tend to do things for them rather than letting them try themselves. Loosen the boundaries a little. For the Montessori approach to work, your child must have free time in their daily lives to explore their environment and the world around them, so as long as it is safe to do so, give them the freedom to learn.
Let children explore and develop practical skills, this could include letting children do things that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, for example handling knives for the first time during food preparation. We can make this a safer activity though with a step stool in the kitchen.
For younger children, this can also include giving them choice over what to play with, rather than choosing for them. You could for example put things in boxes that they can easily access. In my daughter’s bedroom, we used a storage bench like this one from Amazon to enable her to be able to get to her toys easily. If you’d like to choose toys that develop a Montessori environment then read this post.
Offer the opportunity of time and patience
It is also important for you to ensure that you give them time and patience. If you know they are going to want to try to put their shoes on, for example, give plenty of time for them to do that. We can all be guilty of rushing especially if we are naturally busy parents but the founding principles of Montessori are to encourage independence and therefore we need to embrace that in our style of parenting.
Adapting the home
Montessori parenting is all about leading by example, so if your child sees you get yourself a drink of water, they may want to emulate the behaviour themselves. So adapting with cups and water that is accessible to them for them to do that can help. It is about giving them the chance of independence and your home plays a vital role in that.
To enable a Montessori home put things on open shelves or on low shelves. For example, in our kitchen, the cereal is in a low cupboard as are the breakfast dishes. Therefore my kids were always able to make their own breakfasts when they were young. From a very early age, I have only ever cooked the evening meal and they have prepared their own lunch and snacks.
As older children, the same was expected in managing their school work. I have never packed a school bag for them instead I may double-check they have the resources they have needed but I’ve not done it for them.
Make sure the whole family are involved
Make sure that family members are aware of your parenting approach and develop a deeper understanding of this approach. You want to ensure that there is consistency, so when they are with other family members they will still be given the same level of respect and independence you give them at home.
Hopefully, this has helped you understand more about what Montessori parenting is and how to implement it.
