Today I witnessed something of a new phenomenon. A parent rang into my school asking the girls form tutor to speak to her young daughter about her general behaviour, about her attitude, about how she was treating her mum. let’s get this straight – not about her behaviour in school but her behaviour at home. I was somewhat shocked by this. I have been a qualified teacher for nine years and I questioned when this had become acceptable.
Not recieving a call from a parent, I am well versed in that. However, since when have teachers also taken on the responsibility for parenting these children? That is not my job. That is not what I signed up for. I have a real passion for Sociology I want to teach my subject. I want to foster a love of learning and I am so proud when I watch an A Level student go off to university to study Sociology or a related course. I chart those up as a success and view it as a job well done. Likewise every child that achieves or exceeds their predicted grade is a success and I smile, happy in the knoweledge that I played a part. As a responsible teacher and tutor I care for the well being of my students, I am their in loco parentis whilst they are at school. But quite frankly what they do at home is down to their parents – it is not my responsibility. I have three of my own you see. A teenager that I help with homework, that I drive from hockey to dancing and back again. A tween that I support as he enters the final stages of primary school and a toddler embarking on her journey of pre school with a number of health issues.
I plan lessons and mark work in the evenings. Yet now I am expected to be putting in support when children misbehave at home. I think it is about time teachers are given a break. What is wanted from us teachers as we can’t do it all. I suggest that parents take back some responsibility and start parenting. What on earth makes it acceptable and what has caused this shift. It seems to be that teachers are expected to solve all of societies problems and still get these children through exams and ready for the university or the world of work.
7 Responses
Totally with you! It’s my job as a parent to ensure my children behave at home – and in school! I should be teaching the manners required to function in polite society. It’s your job to teach the academic stuff I don’t understand – social skills is my problem!
Some parents are just lazy!
Teachers are not responsible for parenting! This is ridiculous. Teachers are there to teach and support but parents are there to nuture! Aaagh, I could rant about this all day!!
That’s madness. Some parents have obviously never disciplined their children, and are now panicking. Don’t see how a child would listen to a teacher about home behaviour anyway. Surely the people involved are the ones who need to be sorting it out.
Playing devil’s advocate, is this parent at her wits end and no idea where to turn? I can imagine you will try anything in that situation.
That said if it’s just rubbish parenting coming back to bite her, then you are totally right to tell her where to get off!
I do feel for a parent in that situation. They are obviously worried and want support to turn things around but I wonder where this trend started.
Hmm yes i can see this from both sides now I really can. When my oldest started having trouble when he was younger and asked for help (he was later diagnosed as having Aspergers) I was always told he would be helped at school. I didn’t care whether someone else was going to tell me ways in which to help me parent (and did indeed go on courses), but on my own I didn’t feel like I knew where to get the information.
In saying that a teacher speaking to the child isn’t really about providing the information – but think maybe where it could have stemmed from.
No wonder teachers are striking (you ay notice that I naively do not know what the strike is about).
No NO NO NO NO NO
Simply no. I really dont believe that a parent should be ringing into school and asking for this.
If there are underlying issues that need to be addressed, such as PinkOddy mentions, then go in and have a meeting.
But using a teacher to discipline a child for behaviour at home is wrong.