Every single mother understands the pull of guilt that comes with either working or staying at home with her children. If she works, she earns money for her family but she spends less time with the kids. If she stays at home, she feels guilty for not contributing cash to the house. Of course, neither mother wins here: there’s guilt involved no matter what. There is a lot of comparison going on between both “camps’ ‘ of mothers, but there doesn’t need to be. Every mother wants the best life for her kids, and if you’re in the camp that puts you as working as well as being a full time mother, you need to find some balance.
You can thrive in both your life and your career if you find balance with both. Knowing when to say yes to things is just as important as learning when to say no, and you need balance for both. As a woman, you are more than capable of building a career and being the mother you want to be for your children. If you’re running your own business, you may need to find out more about security and accounting, but that’s all easy enough with the right advice and help. The most important thing to consider here is finding a balance between time for your job, and time for your children. So, with this in mind, here are some tips to ensure that the balancing act is maintained.
- Be present. If you’re at work, be present with your work. If you’re at home, be present with your children. You need to ensure that you are giving the right attention to both areas of your life, and that means that you need to keep a solid line between both. If you’re at home, keep the tech to one side and give the kids your full attention. This is always harder when working from home, especially when you have no choice but to work remotely.
- Share. If your partner is working and expecting you to be at home, consider the finances first. Before you give up your job, make sure that you actually want to. Otherwise, work on what it means to share parenting. Both of you made your children, which means that both of you are responsible for them and their upbringing. Make a point of sharing the load; it’s equally important for their Father to bond, play and get their hands dirty as it is for you to do. Putting too much on your own plate is far too much mental load, so share it and be equal.
- Have a support system, whether you go for family support or the support of expert childminders, you need to have a support system around you to get through your day. Getting to and from work is easy but when you have school runs to manage, clubs to consider, the routines of the children, you need support. Build a team of people who will happily look after your children for you.
- Say yes. If you get the chance to be promoted, or you get the chance to have new opportunities, say yes to them. You may be a mother, but you have to remember that you are a person, too. One day, the kids are going to grow up and they’re going to have their own lives, and you will need something to show for that. By taking the opportunities that come your way now, you’ll have something for later.
- Overcome the guilt. You do not need to feel guilt for working. You are providing for your family. Your children will benefit from seeing you achieve. This is a good thing, and you will benefit from it if you let go of the guilt and enjoy your work. No one can shame you, no one can tell you that you did something wrong. No one can say that you aren’t a great parent – because you are.
- You should remember you’re committed. Whether it’s to your home life or your job, you’re allowed to be committed to both. You’re managing and juggling, giving and enjoying. And you should. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’re not doing enough for your job or your children – you are! Balancing it all well is your strength; or you wouldn’t do it!
- Planning. It’s all in the planning. When it comes to your life as a working mother, you need to plan everything correctly. Before you leave home for work, you need to ensure that children are safe. So, coordinating all schedules so that you know where everyone is is important. Be prepared for when things go wrong too, its important to consider things like life insurance to support your family financially.
- Don’t forget yourself. While you’re balancing your life and your children, make sure that you don’t forget to take care of yourself. It’s one thing to take care of your job but quite another to remember that you count. Making time for self-care is a must because without it, you’re not going to manage everything at home. Self-care isn’t selfish, so put time and cash aside for yourself and ensure that you are filling your cup. You can’t hope to be a great employee and a better parent without a little self-care (or a lot, depending on what you need most. Recharging after working and looking after the kids takes time. Plan for it and add it to your calendar so that you can be a better person all round.
- Communicate. From communicating with your partner to ensuring that you are communicating with friends and family, you need to step up and talk if you’re struggling. You need to know that you have people around you who are supporting you and cheerleading you. Be transparent about your needs and honest about things happening in your life. You’ll see how easy it is to lose track of things when you don’t communicate properly.
Balancing work and family takes time to learn. Without that balance, life is going to be much tougher than you think!
