A scroll through Instagram or Facebook and I still see such negativity and derogatory language directed at teenagers. The phrase ‘teenage attitude’ is thrown around like it is a bad thing and something to be avoided.
I see bloggers calling out fat-shaming and berating using stereotypes when talking about groups of people yet they then refer to their children as having a teenage attitude and not in a nice way! Double standards much?
We are working hard to remove gender stereotypes in clothing and toys. We call out manufacturers for sticking to outdated views of girls and boys and so we should.
Feminists will challenge inequality as they see fit. Body positivity is a buzzword with women being told to wear what they want and damn anyone who criticises.
Yet teenagers are not afforded the same respect. The assumption is that all teenagers are moody, eye-rolling, unhappy souls. It seems that parents of 8, 9 and 10 year olds will happily assume that if their child is snappy or in a bad mood that this is looking into the window of the teenage years to come. Our teenagers are viewed as sulky people who lock themselves away in the rooms and only communicate with a grunt or groan. A teenage attitude is seen as a negative label.
Well, let me tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Why I love parenting teenagers
Parenting teens for me is the absolute jewel in the parenting crown. It is like the reward at the end of years of being tired and telling a small person not to touch this or do that.
I have loved watching my teenagers and their growing independence and I have loved watching them find their feet. There are so many benefits to parenting teenagers they are great company and you can hold a good conversation with them. I enjoy chatting with my teens and listening to their views. They still have so much hope for the future and live life full of enthusiasm.
Don’t get me wrong, it is not all a bed of roses, there are some bumps where new ground rules might need to be set. But to suggest that the whole teen stage is going to be hard and shouty just makes me cross. It makes me cross for those young people who give so much to society, those who work really hard at school, those who get up and play sports, those who do charity work and those who work part-time to buy their own clothes.
Many teens will study five days a week and then go to work in retail or be waitressing where they are paid below minimum wage but do it anyway and with a smile on their face.
Every time we liken a moaning child to teenager attitude we are doing our teens a disservice. I personally found that once the teenage years had hit life was calmer. I didn’t have slamming doors and eye rolls and there is no reason (apart from a stereotype) of why your teen will be that way.
My teens are great fun, we can now eat a meal in a fab restaurant without having to take colouring pencils and ipads to keep them entertained.
We can sit and watch a box set together rather than listening to the high pitched squeaky voice of a children’s presenter. We can have impromptu days or nights out without having to plan it like a military operation. We can laugh together and I can beat them at bowling without a meltdown or having to let them win a round.
Parenting teenagers is the best and I don’t want parents to dread this stage coming. Those of us with teens need to tell others to ignore the stereotype and those with younger children need to stop looking to teens like they are a different species and one to be avoided at all costs.
Let us celebrate everyone and treat everyone with their worth regardless of gender, age, class and ethnicity. It is about time this marginalised group were supported and respected because age is just a number and it doesn’t dictate what you should or shouldn’t be like. So let’s stop with the labelling and assuming a teenage attitude is a bad thing.
One Response
Amen to this! It is very wrong of people to criticise all teenagers, particularly when they have no experience of them themselves! Like you, I haven’t had door slamming and eye rolling. My boys are very good teenagers (although they do have their moments like everyone) and I’m very proud of them – and their friends! We don’t know any of these stereotypical bad teenagers everyone takes about.