Every parent wishes the best for their children but balancing the various demands parents have to cope with isn’t easy and all parents can come under pressure or stress from time to time. The past year especially has been really hard with lockdowns, children homeschooling and many parents working from home and in stressful conditions. This has meant that we may have lost our way with positive parenting, but we can still change how we communicate with our kids.
This post shares practical advice and tips for positive parenting techniques that work well for children – from babies to teenagers. These techniques encourage better behaviour and build positive relationships between parents and their children.
If you come at parenting from an authoritarian, highly disciplined stance it can become very defensive and built on conflict and this approach only works rarely. You might make your child disciplined but you do more damage in the process. Extra-repressive parenting can shatter your child’s confidence, make them afraid, and suffocates them so much that they end up perceiving lying and deceit as their escape.
But, I take you don’t want that. You want your child to be happy, free, and confident in life. So, the most reliable approach then is positive parenting.
Positive parenting is a newly emerging approach that gives fair consideration to children. It is based on the belief that children can be complex, yet good humans who need to be listened to.
It considers the parenting relationship as a two-way street, by upholding mutual respect, understanding, and fair treatment towards each other.
If you are thinking of adopting this approach, then here are the 6 principles of positive parenting that you need to know.
1. Ruthless behaviour can mean they are trying to communicate something
Positive parenting believes that everything, every action is backed by a reason, especially their misbehaviour. Trust me, like adults, even children have a hard time communicating. Instead of words, they might choose action to express themselves. Nevertheless, it can be a sign that something is disturbing them, or that they are hurting.
For instance, if they misbehave at school, only to have you called in the school. It might mean that they are only doing this to get your attention when you have been super busy at work.
2. Always encourage your child
No one likes to be compared, not even your child. Yet some parents tend to compare their children only to make them feel that they need to improve themselves.
Never do that! I repeat never! It can only give rise to insecurities that they will carry with them all their lives. Instead, encourage them, recognize their effort, and appreciate them from time to time. Make them feel loved and motivated.
3. Respect is a two-way street
It might be a little blunt, if you want to be respected by your children, you need to respect them too. And by respect I simply mean, listening to what they say, valuing their emotions and opinions, and guiding them every step of the way.
In addition to that, your words weigh in too here. Choose them wisely. Ensure you stay respectful, not degrading even when you are furious at them.
4. Never punish your child for their emotions
Unfortunately, (collectively) we are far away from the era wherein we are much more open about feelings and emotions. That is to say, we acknowledge and accept how we feel and are not ashamed about it.
Nonetheless, it needs to be done. You need to train your child to feel more. You need to tell them that there’s nothing too shameful about crying, and being your vulnerable self.
For instance, if they are crying over trivial things, you shouldn’t ask them to toughen up. Instead, you should encourage them to feel how they feel, and be much more expressive about it with themselves and with people.
5. Show confidence in their abilities
Trusting oneself is pivotal in the journey of life. Upbringing plays a huge role in that. When you show confidence in your kid’s abilities, not only do they feel encouraged, but it helps to keep their anxieties and insecurities at arm’s length. They feel that they are worth trusting and become much more confident in life.
6. Normalize mistakes.
Making mistakes is normal. It doesn’t mean you are less capable, rather it means that you are just being human. Your children need to know that. They must not be afraid of making mistakes. They should normalize them and focus on rectifying and learning from them.
We’re all done here. I hope we made up your mind or simply guided you towards positive parenting. Let us know what you think in the comment section. Have a good day and fun parenting!
