When you think of mentoring you often conjure up images of business mentors but I would love to see more people mentoring teenagers and have an informal mentoring plan that helps guide teenagers through the secondary years at school. The mentoring process can have such a positive impact on young people and we should be investing more time and energy into teenagers. Empowering teenagers is so important to me and here is why I want more mentors in society.
What is mentoring teenagers?
Mentoring teenagers is about helping another person learn through a one-to-one relationship. It can be used in business to develop leadership or clarity. However mentoring young people can be life changing.
Why mentoring matters
I have a 15 year old who wants to do well in his exams but doesn’t always listen to his parents! He lacks ambition and drive and I am sure a mentoring process would help address this. Teachers are under such pressure to complete an academic course that there is not much time left for mentoring.
When I was teaching there was always students that I really liked and you do find yourself guiding those students naturally and building a relationship with them. Chloe was lucky that she too had that sort of relationship with two of her hockey / PE teachers. They certainly positively influenced her, even with suggesting alternative Universities for her. They unofficially became role models, sounding boards and influential voices throughout her teenage years. Hockey provided Chloe with a range of older adults that really cared about her and I am grateful that she has had those guides.
I wish there was more of a mentoring process for good kids. Schools and senior teachers often mentor those at risk or vulnerable but the benefits of mentoring would really help all teenagers. As a parent to middle of the road kids I wish they stood above the parapet a bit more and were noticed. These middle of the road kids need support, mentoring and encouragement and in my view we are lacking this support in society today.
There is that old saying ‘it takes a village to raise to children’ and I believe that is true. Good kids need that support too.
Benefits of mentoring teenagers
There are many benefits to mentoring teenagers including:
Improving self-esteem, increasing academic results, improved interpersonal skills and better relationships with adults and parents. The mentoring process can be such a powerful tool and many teenagers would benefit from the added input those with lifeskills, successful businesses and a wise head can offer.
As a parent of a teenager I have made sure that I have put people in my children’s lives that will step up and guide and challenge them as appropriate. Do you put people in your children’s lives that will take on this important role?
The next six months are really important for my son who will be taking his GCSE exams. I am already clashing heads with him over revision and he needs constant encouragement to study. It is not easy and I am thankful that he has some support coming from other areas. I feel that he lacks motivation because he doesn’t have a life plan yet, he doesn’t know what he wants to do and this leaves him floundering and apathetic in his approach to his exams. Careers guidance is sadly lacking and he doesn’t warrant any additional support. He is not seen at risk, vulnerable or disengaged. Instead, he is a very typical 15-year-old boy. Yet a mentoring plan or the mentoring process would really help him gain perspective and make better active choices that would positively impact on his future.
As parents of teenagers, we need to look further afield and support each other. Kids don’t want to always talk to their parents. Therefore we have a responsibility to look at the teenagers that we meet in day to day life and just give them that encouragement. Our words can make a difference and rather than shying away from talking to teenagers wouldn’t it be great if we got involved and became unofficial mentors, people they turned too and looked up to. Even good kids need mentors.
How to mentor teenagers
Mentoring is about helping another person learn through a one-to-one relationship. Mentoring needs to be scheduled and should set goals yet the mentee should be coming up with those goals themselves. Use smart targets so that they are manageable, achievable and realistic.
Mentoring needs also to allow for reflection and recognising and acknowledging personal achievements. For more on formal mentoring search the Princes Trust.
Yet unofficial mentoring can just involve chatting to teenagers, talking and listening to them. Being a good role model and giving them your time. We can all do this!
Final Thoughts
Parenting is bloody hard and we can all support each other in this. Families used to live near each other and give each other all sorts of support. These days we have rising number of single parent families, families that are not geographically close to each other and also the impact of social media. This all makes parenting teenagers harder so maybe we need to look around at each other, offer up a smile and take collective responsibility for producing well-rounded teenagers.
