The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
Having a healthy relationship with your children is not only important for their development but it can also improve their mental health and influence their interpretation of the world. While it may seem obvious that you’re most likely going to be one of the few people they have to talk to at the beginning of their life, cultivating a space for regular conversation is important. It can help strengthen their trust in you, make them more comfortable expressing themselves, and lead to a stronger bond throughout their life.
Starting Early
Having regular chats with your children even as early as they’re able to talk is a great way to encourage their creativity, learning capabilities, and bond with you. While trying to explain the world to a toddler and their seemingly endless questions of “Why?” can be overwhelming at times, it’s important to encourage that sense of wonder and understanding. This enables them to not only learn more about their surroundings but also feel comfortable when bringing inquiries to you.
Online mental health resources like BetterHelp can provide you with more information on the importance of communication. Talking with others is a crucial part of our lives as social beings and trying to gauge what topics to discuss with your children depending on their age can be tricky, especially depending on your parenting style. Just remember that it’s ok to ask for help from other family members, friends, and mental health professionals if you’re looking for parenting advice.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening is the practice of making an effort to listen, understand, and absorb the information someone is giving to you. This includes what they’re saying as well as their body language. In return, you provide feedback or assistance based on what they’ve said. Essentially, it means not just waiting for someone to finish their sentence so you can say what’s on your mind but instead retaining the information and basing your response on that.
Teaching your children active listening and practicing it with them during your conversations can help them to become more empathetic and understanding of others. It will also help them appreciate the effort you put into your conversations to establish trust between the two of you. When someone makes an effort to understand your point of view and gives you control of the conversation, it can be a valuable lesson to learn and use in conversations in the future.
Being Understanding As They Grow
As your child grows, their behavior, thoughts, and interests will most likely evolve and develop. They may start asking deeper questions, looking for feedback on their newer interests, or even challenging the ideas of those around them with newer information they’re learning.
Especially in today’s digital age, they’re more likely to find new information and opinions that they’ll identify with or become curious about. It’s important to continue to offer them a space where they can practice open communication and discuss certain topics with you. You may even learn something new as well! Allowing them to get used to their independence and practice debating their thoughts and ideas can give them the skills they need as an adult to have educational and mature conversations with others.
Leaving The Floor Open
If the space between your regular chats with your child starts to get longer and longer, that’s alright. As children grow, develop, and start to build their own social life, they can start to look to their parents for advice less and less. This isn’t necessarily a negative sign – instead, it shows your child has grown to become more comfortable in their independence. What’s important is that you remind them that the opportunity is always there.
Continue to regularly engage them about their friends, interests, and opinions, but don’t necessarily push them. Allowing them to establish boundaries and respecting their privacy gives them an understanding of how others should treat them as they grow older. Similar to how you wouldn’t appreciate being interrupted or interrogated by a coworker or acquaintance, they wouldn’t appreciate being pressured into having a conversation they’re not interested in having.
As a parent, it’s understandable that you’re interested in your child’s well-being. Open communication, active listening, and respecting boundaries can help you two grow together. This establishes trust and creates a bond that shows your children you’re there to listen and provide feedback or assistance if they’re looking for it. Helping them grow is sometimes about letting them develop on their own as well.
