In this article, we’ll discuss seven ways to open the conversation regarding your Will with your children.
As parents, when we leave this world, we want to leave our children as much support as possible which can come from any assets we leave behind for them.
The only way to truly cement your intentions of how assets are distributed, is to put all last wishes into a legally binding Will. After your days, Wills and probate solicitors will present the Will and ensure your children will receive what they’re entitled to.
Discussing your Will can be difficult for many reasons, especially if you have a complicated family set up. However, it’s important to have these conversations and make intentions known to minimise the risk of probate. In this article, we’re sharing our seven tips for talking to your kids about your will.
1. Explain How Your Will Impacts Them
Discussing the contents of your Will is not a conversation that either you or your children particularly want to think about, therefore it’s maybe best to give some warning and explain how and why it impacts them.
Although they may not like it, this will at least give them time to get used to the idea and to prepare themselves for what can be a sensitive topic. Try to put a positive spin on the situation though and remind them why it’s important to discuss.
2. Choose a Good Time and Place
For most, a Will can be a straightforward explanation. For others it could be more complicated and cause an emotional response. As such, it’s important to choose a place which is quiet and free of distractions – ideally your own home as this will be a place which is familiar and comforting to your children.
It’s also a really good idea to try to choose a time when nobody has to rush off to work or an appointment as it’s really not a talk that you want to have on the clock.
3. Discuss Your Will 1-1
There’s a good chance that your children won’t be the only beneficiaries listed in your Will – for example, a spouse or partner, family members and friends may also be included. However, this doesn’t mean that these people should also be present.
When first approaching the subject of your Will, your children will be able to focus better if they are the only one’s present. You could either talk to your children 1-1 or together, this will help keep a clear focus on how the Will impacts them.
4. Be Completely Honest – Even if it’s Tough
In many instances, a parent could choose to divide all of their assets equally between all of their children – but this is not always the case. If, for whatever reason, you’ve chosen to bequeath more to one child than another – or to leave one child out altogether you may find yourself faced with a reaction of hurt or anger.
In this instance, try to remain as calm as possible and explain your reasons for your decision. They may still not like it but it’s important that they are aware of your intentions in order to prevent unpleasant surprises and even legal wrangling once you’re gone.
5. Choose an Executor
Getting everybody together for the conversation about your Will is a good time to assign one of your children as your executor, typically this could fall to the eldest of your children.
Choosing one of your children as an executor of your Will is a good way of reassuring yourself and your children that, there will be no confusion surrounding true intentions of your Will. Make sure you explain the role so they understand the importance.
6. Allow Requests for Shackles
While you may not be flexible on the distribution of your main assets such as property and cash, this is the ideal time to ask your children if there is a particular item that they would like.
Often a child will have an attachment to an item such as a piece of jewelry or an ornament which they associate with you and so it’s a good idea to try to accommodate this where possible.
7. Keep Communication Open
Once you’ve discussed the contents of your Will with your children they may or may not want to talk about this further. They also may or may not have questions for you to answer.
While it’s great if they are open to further conversation and questions, try not to force it. Chances are that they will need time to process what they’ve been told and to come to terms with it and, in this case, you can always agree to revisit the conversation at a later time once they’ve had a chance to take it all in.
Talking to your kids about your Will…
Nobody enjoys the prospect of discussing their will with their children but doing so can save a lot of hassle and heartache when the time comes. As well as details of asset and shackle distribution, your Will can include information about your wishes such as the type of funeral that you would like and any readings and music that should be included.
Making sure that your children are aware of your wishes and intentions beforehand can ease the strain of your passing and prevent chances of probate, which can make the grieving process more difficult for those affected.
